"Le' Me 'Lone!"

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I feel like I didn't give enough detail on the last post.....good thing, I'm feeling a lot better. This is merely inspiration to be stronger.

Before the new year even came, M.O hit me up and asked if I could make it to his album release party. I told him, based on the date he gave me, I needed to check back with him. Turns out he gave me the wrong shit at first, but it worked out.

Relly Boi was headlining, so was M.O. The headlining artists had the choice to bring three other acts to perform too. M.T Bag was chosen. I was excited! Covers for The M.O Hour were made, he had hella CD's to sell, I felt like it was legit.

M.T Bag has a history of not performing as a whole. As of now, all 4 members haven't been on stage together! I thought Thursday was the night. Relly went up, Skeem went up cuz he had a song with him. Some garbage niggas did their shit, a saditty, ditsy, chick got booed off stage. A group went up that blew my socks off too.

M.O went up, did his thing with "High Class", "Ms.Ashalee", "Outtatowner", and "Pushin', Pushin'". Seth Boogie was there, who lent some vocals to "Pushin', Pushin'", Moxy Monster showed his face, and I was amped up cuz I thought M.T. Bag was next for sure.

We weren't. And that's when my mood de-elevated. Relly's boy, Vicious, went up, killed it. Other niggas went up, with "Baby Batter." A singer went up. More wack niggas. A group, Camp David, went up, and that's when reality hit me........

I sat, I lingered, I drifted.

I thought to myself. I don't wanna be caught without my beats, EVER. Gets you booed off stage.

More self thoughts. I don't want to be 40 years old STILL trying to make it as a rapper.

The car ride home was more tense than a campground. Relly called himself yelling at us because we complained about not being able to perform. He says we need to, "open your mouths."

What? If we're on the list with the special guest of the night, is there really a need to tell the woman we want to perform? M.O checked with the woman about when we were going up, I checked about when we were going up. We stayed 'til the end and didn't get to go. I love this word. Cincinnati is full of JANK muthafuckas.

After the show, some Zone niggas came outside talking shit. I think there was a fight. I'm tired of Hip-Hop. Niggas have gangbanged the shit to the point she's not even attractive to me anymore. Everybody wants to rap. Not everybody's good. The illest niggas alive still haven't hit the stage.

I contemplated "suicide." Not the killing of Matthew Williams, but the killing of the music effort. If this is what it comes down to, I don't want it anymore. The same broke ass niggas rapping about rapping. Rapping about pussy they don't get. Rapping about money they don't have. It's off-pissing.


Give up the music? No, never. I have committed too much time and energy into music. I've made a lot of stupid sacrifices for music. If I gave up music, what would I do?

I'm not going back to school. I'm not working minimum wage all my life.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I'm feeling like I won the World's Strongest Man ESPN shit.

Just a minor set back...

Now.....back to our regularly scheduled program already in progress.

--midas is focused--

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